1 00:00:00,969 --> 00:00:02,113 - hot in cleveland is recorded 2 00:00:02,137 --> 00:00:03,747 In front of a live Studio audience. 3 00:00:03,771 --> 00:00:06,217 - did you know cleveland Was originally spelled 4 00:00:06,241 --> 00:00:09,287 C-l-e-a-v-e-l-a-n-d? 5 00:00:09,311 --> 00:00:11,021 For general moses cleaveland. 6 00:00:11,045 --> 00:00:12,257 See, they dropped the "A"... 7 00:00:12,281 --> 00:00:13,457 - shut up. 8 00:00:13,481 --> 00:00:16,927 - thank you. 9 00:00:16,951 --> 00:00:18,463 - the nominations For the daytime emmys 10 00:00:18,487 --> 00:00:19,630 Were just announced. - oh. 11 00:00:19,654 --> 00:00:22,800 - all right, who Cares, who cares, ah... 12 00:00:22,824 --> 00:00:25,236 Best actress. Susan lucci... 13 00:00:25,260 --> 00:00:28,706 - well-deserved. 14 00:00:28,730 --> 00:00:32,142 - crystal mcallister, Nobody, nobody, and... 15 00:00:32,166 --> 00:00:33,311 Victoria chase! 16 00:00:33,335 --> 00:00:35,713 - yay! Good for you. 17 00:00:35,737 --> 00:00:37,815 - oh, it's my 16th Nomination. Uh, waiter? 18 00:00:37,839 --> 00:00:40,518 Uh, I realize it's only 8:00 in the morning, 19 00:00:40,542 --> 00:00:42,252 But we're celebrating, And I would like 20 00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:44,322 Some champagne In my orange juice. 21 00:00:44,346 --> 00:00:47,525 - you mean the usual? 22 00:00:47,549 --> 00:00:50,161 - yes. 23 00:00:50,185 --> 00:00:52,963 Although I've never Won this thing. 24 00:00:52,987 --> 00:00:55,799 And this year, I definitely Don't have a chance. 25 00:00:55,823 --> 00:00:58,469 crystal mcallister from The strong and the gorgeous 26 00:00:58,493 --> 00:01:00,871 Pulled a really Underhanded stunt. 27 00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:02,106 - what'd she do? 28 00:01:02,130 --> 00:01:05,009 - she died. 29 00:01:05,033 --> 00:01:07,111 Aka award magnet. 30 00:01:07,135 --> 00:01:09,380 You know I can't Compete with death. 31 00:01:10,739 --> 00:01:13,017 - oh, it's my son. 32 00:01:13,041 --> 00:01:14,318 He's driving back To college from l.A. 33 00:01:14,342 --> 00:01:16,020 And I begged him to Stop here on the way. 34 00:01:16,044 --> 00:01:17,288 So he's gonna be Here this afternoon. 35 00:01:17,312 --> 00:01:18,856 - well, how's he doing? 36 00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:21,292 - you know, I don't know. He rarely speaks to me. 37 00:01:21,316 --> 00:01:23,194 I get the occasional Grunt on mother's day. 38 00:01:23,218 --> 00:01:25,730 - oh, kids can be so ungrateful. 39 00:01:25,754 --> 00:01:28,099 I mean, you get them the Best nannies money can buy 40 00:01:28,123 --> 00:01:29,633 And then they blackmail You with threats 41 00:01:29,657 --> 00:01:33,504 to write a mommie dearest. 42 00:01:33,528 --> 00:01:36,908 Oh, look who's back From hollywood. 43 00:01:36,932 --> 00:01:39,009 - what was it like doing Brad pitt's eyebrows? 44 00:01:39,033 --> 00:01:42,012 - does he smell like fresh cream 45 00:01:42,036 --> 00:01:44,549 On a fine spring morning? 46 00:01:44,573 --> 00:01:48,586 'cause that's how I imagine it. 47 00:01:48,610 --> 00:01:50,755 - elka, celebrities are Just like everyone else. 48 00:01:50,779 --> 00:01:53,257 - you take that back. 49 00:01:53,281 --> 00:01:54,826 - oh, I'm just Starting to wonder 50 00:01:54,850 --> 00:01:56,027 If there isn't more to life 51 00:01:56,051 --> 00:01:58,362 Than removing Celebrities' unwanted hair. 52 00:01:58,386 --> 00:02:00,798 I think I'm having A mid-life crisis. 53 00:02:00,822 --> 00:02:05,002 - mid-life? 54 00:02:05,026 --> 00:02:07,538 - you know, if you Really are having a crisis, 55 00:02:07,562 --> 00:02:08,872 Maybe you should See a therapist. 56 00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:11,508 - the only therapy I Need is liquid therapy. 57 00:02:11,532 --> 00:02:14,745 Hello. 58 00:02:14,769 --> 00:02:16,414 - victoria got another Emmy nomination. 59 00:02:16,438 --> 00:02:17,581 - congratulations. 60 00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:19,016 - she can't win. 61 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:22,886 She's up against a dead girl. 62 00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:25,189 - you didn't have susan Lucci killed, did you? 63 00:02:25,213 --> 00:02:28,515 - no. That was just trash talk. 64 00:02:38,493 --> 00:02:41,839 The oddest thing just happened. 65 00:02:41,863 --> 00:02:44,943 My agent says that there's This huge internet rumor 66 00:02:44,967 --> 00:02:47,946 That I'm dying from Some disease called... 67 00:02:47,970 --> 00:02:50,415 Well, I can't even Remember the name. 68 00:02:50,439 --> 00:02:52,916 - flett-giordano syndrome. 69 00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:54,184 And you're welcome. 70 00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:57,121 - what? You started the rumor? 71 00:02:57,145 --> 00:02:58,655 - well, now you can Beat the dead girl 72 00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:00,491 At her own game. 73 00:03:00,515 --> 00:03:01,792 - but... 74 00:03:01,816 --> 00:03:04,195 But you can't just say That I have a disease. 75 00:03:04,219 --> 00:03:05,796 I've never even heard of it. 76 00:03:05,820 --> 00:03:08,599 - well, no one has. That's the beauty of it. 77 00:03:10,525 --> 00:03:12,736 - uh, victoria chase. 78 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:16,563 yes, I'll hold for People magazine. 79 00:03:17,766 --> 00:03:18,909 - elka. 80 00:03:18,933 --> 00:03:21,379 I need a list of Really fun things 81 00:03:21,403 --> 00:03:22,680 To do in cleveland. 82 00:03:22,704 --> 00:03:24,682 Will's coming, and We haven't really 83 00:03:24,706 --> 00:03:25,950 Spoken much since the divorce, 84 00:03:25,974 --> 00:03:27,451 And I really wanna Reconnect with him. 85 00:03:27,475 --> 00:03:29,486 So if you were a 20-year-old boy, 86 00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:32,723 What would you wanna Do with your mom? 87 00:03:32,747 --> 00:03:36,794 - watch her buy me beer? 88 00:03:36,818 --> 00:03:39,630 - hey, joy. Where you been? 89 00:03:39,654 --> 00:03:41,632 - okay, don't go All melanie on me, 90 00:03:41,656 --> 00:03:43,433 But I decided to Take your suggestion 91 00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:46,170 And I met with a couple Of potential therapists. 92 00:03:46,194 --> 00:03:48,672 - wow. How did it go? 93 00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:50,374 - they're all so nosy. 94 00:03:50,398 --> 00:03:51,975 Asking me questions about 95 00:03:51,999 --> 00:03:55,078 My childhood and Feelings and sex 96 00:03:55,102 --> 00:03:57,014 And saying I need to Come in four times a week. 97 00:03:57,038 --> 00:03:59,983 I mean, who can talk about Themselves for that long? 98 00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:03,086 - and then at age 12, I Decided becoming an actress 99 00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:06,023 Would be the best Way to serve humanity. 100 00:04:06,047 --> 00:04:07,491 no, no, no, thank you. 101 00:04:07,515 --> 00:04:09,693 Oh, elka. 102 00:04:09,717 --> 00:04:12,029 You are a genius. 103 00:04:12,053 --> 00:04:13,864 Elka came up with This internet rumor 104 00:04:13,888 --> 00:04:16,901 That I have this very, very Promotable deadly disease. 105 00:04:16,925 --> 00:04:20,671 - well, I'm sure nothing Could go wrong with that. 106 00:04:20,695 --> 00:04:24,075 - oh. It's a text from my agent. 107 00:04:24,099 --> 00:04:28,079 entertainment weekly And in style magazine 108 00:04:28,103 --> 00:04:29,480 Both want me. 109 00:04:29,504 --> 00:04:31,815 Oh, and, and also, 110 00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:34,285 The flett-giordano Syndrome foundation 111 00:04:34,309 --> 00:04:35,886 Want to come and Meet with me here. 112 00:04:35,910 --> 00:04:38,778 Oh, well, this will just Legitimize the hell out of it. 113 00:04:40,281 --> 00:04:42,226 - what kind of disease is it? 114 00:04:42,250 --> 00:04:45,028 - I, I don't know. Elka? 115 00:04:45,052 --> 00:04:46,363 You know, I'm, I'm Happy to lie to win, 116 00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:48,832 But I, I don't wanna Lose my hair or anything. 117 00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:51,769 - the only symptom is fatigue. - that's perfect. 118 00:04:51,793 --> 00:04:53,637 I mean, I can play Tired in my sleep. 119 00:04:55,563 --> 00:04:58,208 Ah, luckily, this disease Hasn't affected my wit. 120 00:04:59,634 --> 00:05:03,013 - oh, that's will. My baby's here. 121 00:05:03,037 --> 00:05:04,715 Hi, honey! 122 00:05:04,739 --> 00:05:07,351 - hi, just a sec. - okay. 123 00:05:07,375 --> 00:05:10,510 It's good to see you. 124 00:05:15,049 --> 00:05:17,261 Good to see you, sweetie. - yeah. 125 00:05:17,285 --> 00:05:19,029 - the facial hair makes You look a little... 126 00:05:19,053 --> 00:05:21,365 Foreign, but cute. 127 00:05:21,389 --> 00:05:22,500 Come on in. 128 00:05:22,524 --> 00:05:23,834 You know joy and victoria. 129 00:05:23,858 --> 00:05:25,536 Both: hey, will. - hi. 130 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:26,703 - ah, this is elka ostrovsky. 131 00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:28,639 - nice to meet you, will. 132 00:05:28,663 --> 00:05:29,873 - nice to meet you too. 133 00:05:29,897 --> 00:05:32,143 - well, your mom picks Up and moves to cleveland. 134 00:05:32,167 --> 00:05:33,611 You must have a Million questions. 135 00:05:33,635 --> 00:05:36,147 - no, I'm good. 136 00:05:36,171 --> 00:05:37,482 - I fixed up the Guest room for you, 137 00:05:37,506 --> 00:05:39,116 But I thought maybe We'd go out to lunch first. 138 00:05:39,140 --> 00:05:41,118 - I kinda just wanna Crash, if that's cool. 139 00:05:41,142 --> 00:05:44,488 - sure. Sure. It's Cool. Very cool. 140 00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:45,823 Do you want me to show You where the room is? 141 00:05:45,847 --> 00:05:47,958 - I'll find it. - yeah. You can find it. 142 00:05:47,982 --> 00:05:49,493 You're good like that. 143 00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:50,995 He can find it. 144 00:05:51,019 --> 00:05:52,463 - I hope it's your daughter 145 00:05:52,487 --> 00:05:56,022 Who's gonna decide Which home to put you in. 146 00:06:01,095 --> 00:06:03,641 - well, this is Fun. The two of us. 147 00:06:03,665 --> 00:06:05,910 Getting a chance To talk and catch up 148 00:06:05,934 --> 00:06:09,601 And shoot the breeze. 149 00:06:11,639 --> 00:06:13,317 So how's school? 150 00:06:13,341 --> 00:06:16,086 - good. - oh. Yeah? 151 00:06:17,212 --> 00:06:19,590 - well, you certainly Have a lot to say... 152 00:06:19,614 --> 00:06:22,292 To someone. 153 00:06:22,316 --> 00:06:23,961 - what? - nothing. 154 00:06:23,985 --> 00:06:26,296 You know. I text. So I get it. 155 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:27,664 - sorry, what did you say, mom? 156 00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:31,235 - you know, lol. Omg. 157 00:06:31,259 --> 00:06:34,771 Om... You know what... G. 158 00:06:34,795 --> 00:06:37,307 - you know it's not cursing If you say a letter, mom. 159 00:06:37,331 --> 00:06:38,876 - oh, sure. Sure. 160 00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:41,166 "F." "F!" 161 00:06:44,338 --> 00:06:46,884 You know, honey. 162 00:06:46,908 --> 00:06:48,919 We never got a chance To talk about the divorce. 163 00:06:48,943 --> 00:06:51,188 And we can do That, if you'd like. 164 00:06:51,212 --> 00:06:52,890 - no, I get it. 165 00:06:52,914 --> 00:06:55,526 Stuff happens. I'm good. 166 00:06:55,550 --> 00:06:58,351 - okay. 167 00:07:07,429 --> 00:07:09,139 Did you know... 168 00:07:09,163 --> 00:07:11,876 That cleveland was Originally spelled 169 00:07:11,900 --> 00:07:15,680 C-l-e-a-v-e-l-a-n-d? 170 00:07:15,704 --> 00:07:17,281 - the cleveland spelling? 171 00:07:17,305 --> 00:07:19,750 You went to that? 172 00:07:19,774 --> 00:07:21,518 - I was desperate. 173 00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:24,877 - and how does that Make you feel, melanie? 174 00:07:26,314 --> 00:07:27,558 - what? 175 00:07:27,582 --> 00:07:29,994 - it's an annoying Question, isn't it? 176 00:07:30,018 --> 00:07:31,729 But all the therapists ask it. 177 00:07:31,753 --> 00:07:33,898 I've been trying Different ones every day. 178 00:07:33,922 --> 00:07:35,465 It's a little bit like dating 179 00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:38,891 Except you're not trying To hide how crazy you are. 180 00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:44,130 - hello. All. 181 00:07:49,003 --> 00:07:52,183 - victoria, are you okay? You look exhausted. 182 00:07:52,207 --> 00:07:54,207 - oh, good. 183 00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:57,454 I was just making sure 184 00:07:57,478 --> 00:07:59,678 'cause the foundation People will be here soon. 185 00:08:01,349 --> 00:08:03,527 Oh, that's will's phone. 186 00:08:03,551 --> 00:08:06,630 Why is it he can talk to Everybody else but not to me? 187 00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:08,165 - you mustn't blame yourself. 188 00:08:08,189 --> 00:08:10,067 Now I, I did absolutely Everything I could 189 00:08:10,091 --> 00:08:11,401 For both my kids. 190 00:08:11,425 --> 00:08:13,592 - you've got three children. 191 00:08:15,096 --> 00:08:16,773 - ah. 192 00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:19,143 - oh, if this phone Could only talk. 193 00:08:19,167 --> 00:08:20,611 - well, it can if You want it to. 194 00:08:20,635 --> 00:08:24,114 Everything you want to know About will is right in there. 195 00:08:24,138 --> 00:08:28,285 His friends, his Music, everything. 196 00:08:28,309 --> 00:08:31,121 - no, no, I, I can't invade His privacy that way. 197 00:08:31,145 --> 00:08:33,223 - I can. 198 00:08:33,247 --> 00:08:35,592 - no, put that down. Someone's texting him. 199 00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:37,428 - it's from stephanie. 200 00:08:37,452 --> 00:08:39,263 "Did you tell your mom yet? 201 00:08:39,287 --> 00:08:42,232 Did she freak?" 202 00:08:42,256 --> 00:08:43,600 - freak? About what? 203 00:08:43,624 --> 00:08:44,901 What does he need to tell me? 204 00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:46,102 - well, find out yourself. 205 00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:50,207 Pretend you're will And text her back. 206 00:08:50,231 --> 00:08:53,043 - I shouldn't do that. 207 00:08:53,067 --> 00:08:54,544 But as a mother, 208 00:08:54,568 --> 00:08:56,247 I need to know what's Going on with my son 209 00:08:56,271 --> 00:08:57,981 By any means possible, right? 210 00:08:58,005 --> 00:08:59,349 - indeed you do. - absolutely. 211 00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:03,120 - okay. 212 00:09:04,846 --> 00:09:09,726 "How should I tell her?" 213 00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:11,028 Oh, I shouldn't have done that. 214 00:09:11,052 --> 00:09:13,130 I just totally Violated his privacy. 215 00:09:13,154 --> 00:09:14,865 I am done with this. 216 00:09:14,889 --> 00:09:17,323 Ooh, she texted back. 217 00:09:18,793 --> 00:09:22,228 "Why are you texting Like an old lady?" 218 00:09:23,898 --> 00:09:26,476 Ah, you shouldn't have Spelled everything correctly. 219 00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:28,545 Oh. 220 00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:31,048 "Just tell her we're Getting married"? 221 00:09:31,072 --> 00:09:32,883 Oh, my god. 222 00:09:32,907 --> 00:09:34,352 He's only 20 years old. 223 00:09:34,376 --> 00:09:35,952 I've never even Heard of this girl. 224 00:09:35,976 --> 00:09:39,344 - and how does That make you feel? 225 00:09:43,317 --> 00:09:46,063 - uh, "My mom got married young 226 00:09:46,087 --> 00:09:49,933 And still regrets it." 227 00:09:49,957 --> 00:09:51,301 That ought to do it. 228 00:09:53,428 --> 00:09:55,172 "Are you trying to Tell me something?" 229 00:09:55,196 --> 00:10:00,277 What, is she stupid? 230 00:10:00,301 --> 00:10:04,782 "Just that we should slow down." 231 00:10:06,140 --> 00:10:10,487 "I h8 u, d'bag." 232 00:10:10,511 --> 00:10:12,723 What does that mean? 233 00:10:12,747 --> 00:10:16,359 - well, 8 could be ate. Like, "I ate something." 234 00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:20,063 - mm. - and d'bag is like da bomb? 235 00:10:20,087 --> 00:10:23,522 - I hate you, douche bag. 236 00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:34,244 - hey, elka. 237 00:10:34,268 --> 00:10:35,512 Thanks for letting Me borrow this. 238 00:10:35,536 --> 00:10:37,914 - oh. What did you think Of my mall walk mix? 239 00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:39,115 - not bad. 240 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:42,319 A little surprised by All the justin bieber. 241 00:10:42,343 --> 00:10:44,121 - really? 242 00:10:44,145 --> 00:10:46,077 I love her. 243 00:10:51,719 --> 00:10:53,163 - he's a guy. 244 00:10:53,187 --> 00:10:55,498 - they keep saying that. 245 00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:57,422 But I'm not buying it. 246 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,337 - what am I gonna do? 247 00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:03,607 I, I broke them up. He's gonna hate me. 248 00:11:03,631 --> 00:11:05,942 Oh, will. Hi, honey. 249 00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:07,377 - is that my phone In your pocket? 250 00:11:07,401 --> 00:11:10,313 - or are you just Happy to see me? 251 00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:14,017 Oh, god, that's All kinds of wrong. 252 00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:15,719 Uh, no. Mine. 253 00:11:15,743 --> 00:11:19,356 - okay, I'm gonna go shower. - okay. 254 00:11:19,380 --> 00:11:21,058 Quick. How do I write her back? 255 00:11:21,082 --> 00:11:23,227 - just text her everything We've always wanted to hear. 256 00:11:23,251 --> 00:11:25,095 - yeah, compliment her Face without makeup, 257 00:11:25,119 --> 00:11:27,130 And tell her it's the Best sex you ever had. 258 00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:30,333 - this is my son. 259 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,335 Oh, they're here. 260 00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:33,569 All right, uh. 261 00:11:33,593 --> 00:11:34,737 Look, I'd love to stay 262 00:11:34,761 --> 00:11:35,839 And help you pretend To be your son, 263 00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:39,431 But I have to go Pretend I'm dying. 264 00:11:46,841 --> 00:11:48,886 Hello. I'm victoria chase. 265 00:11:48,910 --> 00:11:51,021 - this is dr. Lori hernandez. 266 00:11:51,045 --> 00:11:53,023 I'm dr. Robert moore. 267 00:11:53,047 --> 00:11:54,891 It's a pleasure to meet you. 268 00:11:54,915 --> 00:11:57,327 - ah. Likewise. 269 00:11:57,351 --> 00:11:58,895 - I'm sorry for staring, 270 00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:01,665 But I'm just surprised At how well you look. 271 00:12:01,689 --> 00:12:05,636 - oh, thank you, but I'm tired. 272 00:12:05,660 --> 00:12:07,137 So very tired. Please sit. 273 00:12:07,161 --> 00:12:08,972 I know that I need to. 274 00:12:08,996 --> 00:12:11,074 - hmm, that's very odd. 275 00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:12,342 - what? 276 00:12:12,366 --> 00:12:13,843 - you're not limping at all. 277 00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:15,044 - limping? 278 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:17,514 - it's the first symptom Of flett-giordano. 279 00:12:17,538 --> 00:12:20,071 - would you just excuse Me for just one moment? 280 00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:29,859 Where's elka? 281 00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:31,694 She said this thing Had no symptoms 282 00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:32,862 And I'm out there 283 00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:36,020 Limping around like dr. House. 284 00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:39,503 - elka said she looked It up on wikipedia. 285 00:12:39,527 --> 00:12:40,704 - wikipedia? 286 00:12:40,728 --> 00:12:43,173 Wikipedia says that I'm 37. 287 00:12:43,197 --> 00:12:45,208 And I should know. I'm The one who "Corrected" it. 288 00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:47,377 - okay, calm down. 289 00:12:47,401 --> 00:12:50,480 I'll look it up online. 290 00:12:50,504 --> 00:12:51,982 - oh. 291 00:12:52,006 --> 00:12:53,716 - I'm terribly sorry. 292 00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:56,219 Uh... 293 00:12:56,243 --> 00:12:57,820 So in, in terms of publicity, 294 00:12:57,844 --> 00:12:59,055 I was thinking... 295 00:12:59,079 --> 00:13:01,291 - miss chase, when exactly Were you diagnosed? 296 00:13:01,315 --> 00:13:03,926 - uh, last week. Why? 297 00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,562 - the most acute symptoms 298 00:13:05,586 --> 00:13:07,930 Occur within the First week of onset. 299 00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:09,999 By now, you should Be having trouble with 300 00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:14,471 Facial drooping, Involuntary body spasms, 301 00:13:14,495 --> 00:13:16,807 Word slurring, hysteria. 302 00:13:16,831 --> 00:13:21,644 Boy, this thing is awful. 303 00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:23,413 - yes, it is. 304 00:13:23,437 --> 00:13:25,082 That's why we applaud Your courage in going public 305 00:13:25,106 --> 00:13:26,817 With such a disfiguring disease. 306 00:13:26,841 --> 00:13:28,251 - disfiguring? 307 00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:30,353 Who said anything About disfiguring? 308 00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:33,256 - well. There's that hysteria. 309 00:13:34,815 --> 00:13:35,959 Miss chase, 310 00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:37,460 I understand why You're wearing this scarf, 311 00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:38,862 But may we just take a look? 312 00:13:38,886 --> 00:13:42,332 - oh, um, listen. 313 00:13:42,356 --> 00:13:45,323 Could you just excuse me For just one more second? 314 00:13:54,201 --> 00:13:56,446 - wow. 315 00:13:56,470 --> 00:13:59,149 This sucker's got A lot of symptoms. 316 00:13:59,173 --> 00:14:02,786 - no shissh, sherlock. 317 00:14:02,810 --> 00:14:04,287 - good luck faking the goiter. 318 00:14:04,311 --> 00:14:05,655 - goiter? 319 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:07,023 Oh, my god. 320 00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:09,192 That's why they Wanted to see my neck. 321 00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:12,863 Oh, good lord. 322 00:14:14,188 --> 00:14:16,399 Ooh. 323 00:14:16,423 --> 00:14:17,900 - it worked. - yay. 324 00:14:17,924 --> 00:14:20,970 - she says she loves You and she's sorry and... 325 00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:22,338 Oh, she's sending you a picture. 326 00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,541 - yes. 327 00:14:24,565 --> 00:14:27,499 - perky. 328 00:14:30,137 --> 00:14:32,015 - just erase it. He's coming. 329 00:14:32,039 --> 00:14:34,651 - done. 330 00:14:34,675 --> 00:14:36,119 Hey, will. We found your phone. 331 00:14:36,143 --> 00:14:37,654 - oh, awesome, thanks. 332 00:14:37,678 --> 00:14:39,989 Oh, no. 333 00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:41,324 - what, is something wrong? 334 00:14:41,348 --> 00:14:42,759 - it's just this Girl, stephanie, 335 00:14:42,783 --> 00:14:43,927 I have to break up with. 336 00:14:43,951 --> 00:14:45,328 - what? 337 00:14:45,352 --> 00:14:47,630 - she's kind of psycho and We dated a couple months. 338 00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:48,998 Now she thinks we're engaged. 339 00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:52,235 - yeah, because you Proposed to her. 340 00:14:52,259 --> 00:14:54,037 - were you spying on my phone? 341 00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:56,807 - ugh... Oh, honey, yes. 342 00:14:56,831 --> 00:14:59,042 And that's how I found Out you were engaged. 343 00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:00,944 And I went crazy So I texted back. 344 00:15:00,968 --> 00:15:02,112 And then we broke up, 345 00:15:02,136 --> 00:15:03,780 But then we got Back together again, 346 00:15:03,804 --> 00:15:06,283 And now she thinks that You love her more than ever. 347 00:15:06,307 --> 00:15:08,017 Oh, honey, I just wanted things 348 00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:09,185 To be better between us. 349 00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:11,455 - by doing something Completely shady. 350 00:15:11,479 --> 00:15:12,789 How could I ever Trust you again? 351 00:15:12,813 --> 00:15:14,690 - oh... Honey. 352 00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:19,195 No, will. I'm sorry. 353 00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:23,566 - well, on the plus side He's not getting married. 354 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:25,801 And you raised a son With enough character 355 00:15:25,825 --> 00:15:27,303 To break up with the wrong girl 356 00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:28,738 Even though she has 357 00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:31,429 A truly spectacular Set of knockers. 358 00:15:34,419 --> 00:15:35,663 - and the reason I Don't have a goiter 359 00:15:35,687 --> 00:15:39,300 Is because as an actress, my... 360 00:15:39,324 --> 00:15:44,405 My vocal chords are So highly developed. 361 00:15:44,429 --> 00:15:46,274 - well, it's coming. 362 00:15:46,298 --> 00:15:47,442 Now, um, miss chase, 363 00:15:47,466 --> 00:15:50,145 Which of your parents is asian? 364 00:15:50,169 --> 00:15:52,347 - what? 365 00:15:52,371 --> 00:15:53,915 - well, the disease Is only carried 366 00:15:53,939 --> 00:15:55,650 By people of Asian descent, so... 367 00:15:55,674 --> 00:15:57,519 - ah. Yes. 368 00:15:57,543 --> 00:16:01,990 Well, my father, You'll see, is asian. 369 00:16:02,014 --> 00:16:04,759 Okay, you know what? I just... I can't do this. 370 00:16:04,783 --> 00:16:09,097 You see, I don't really Have the disease. 371 00:16:09,121 --> 00:16:10,198 - what? 372 00:16:10,222 --> 00:16:12,633 - I just said that I Did because I thought 373 00:16:12,657 --> 00:16:15,036 It would help me win an emmy. 374 00:16:15,060 --> 00:16:17,304 - well, that's... 375 00:16:17,328 --> 00:16:19,174 Reprehensible. 376 00:16:19,198 --> 00:16:20,841 - I know. 377 00:16:20,865 --> 00:16:22,610 I... I feel terrible. 378 00:16:22,634 --> 00:16:24,179 - as you should. 379 00:16:24,203 --> 00:16:27,182 Although, in the last week, 380 00:16:27,206 --> 00:16:28,949 She has brought the foundation 381 00:16:28,973 --> 00:16:31,152 A great deal of Money and attention. 382 00:16:31,176 --> 00:16:32,754 - it would be nice Not to share offices 383 00:16:32,778 --> 00:16:36,825 With the toenail fungus people. 384 00:16:36,849 --> 00:16:38,860 - wait, what are you saying? 385 00:16:38,884 --> 00:16:41,295 - well, um... 386 00:16:41,319 --> 00:16:44,298 If you attend our Fundraising event next week, 387 00:16:44,322 --> 00:16:46,668 We promise not tell Everyone that you're a... 388 00:16:46,692 --> 00:16:48,737 Despicable liar. 389 00:16:48,761 --> 00:16:50,338 - well, I guess that I, 390 00:16:50,362 --> 00:16:52,207 I don't really have A leg to stand on. 391 00:16:52,231 --> 00:16:53,741 - no, and while we're On that subject, 392 00:16:53,765 --> 00:16:55,577 Work on your limping. 393 00:16:55,601 --> 00:16:56,945 Oh, and get dark glasses. 394 00:16:56,969 --> 00:16:59,903 You'll be blind by then. 395 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:03,952 - oh, there you are. 396 00:17:03,976 --> 00:17:05,386 Your mum went Out looking for you. 397 00:17:05,410 --> 00:17:06,554 - I know. 398 00:17:06,578 --> 00:17:08,256 Oh, I lost her two streets over. 399 00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:09,624 - look, she made a mistake. 400 00:17:09,648 --> 00:17:11,560 But she was just Trying to get you to talk. 401 00:17:11,584 --> 00:17:12,761 - I know. 402 00:17:12,785 --> 00:17:15,730 - and how does That make you feel? 403 00:17:15,754 --> 00:17:16,865 - what? 404 00:17:16,889 --> 00:17:18,233 - never mind. 405 00:17:18,257 --> 00:17:21,869 I'm gonna tell you How it makes you feel. 406 00:17:21,893 --> 00:17:24,439 See, for the past week, I've been seeing therapists 407 00:17:24,463 --> 00:17:26,241 And they've been Trying to get me to talk. 408 00:17:26,265 --> 00:17:27,976 But I don't like it. 409 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,378 Partly because it's none Of their bloody business. 410 00:17:30,402 --> 00:17:32,680 But mostly because I'm afraid if 411 00:17:32,704 --> 00:17:34,983 I do start to open Up and let it out, 412 00:17:35,007 --> 00:17:38,786 I might completely fall apart. 413 00:17:38,810 --> 00:17:40,188 Is that how it makes you feel? 414 00:17:40,212 --> 00:17:43,658 - yeah, that's pretty much it. 415 00:17:43,682 --> 00:17:46,194 So I just don't wanna Talk about it at all. 416 00:17:46,218 --> 00:17:49,130 - but it doesn't make you Any less angry, does it? 417 00:17:49,154 --> 00:17:50,732 - no. 418 00:17:50,756 --> 00:17:52,433 - look, I understand. 419 00:17:52,457 --> 00:17:54,002 My dad left my mum 420 00:17:54,026 --> 00:17:56,738 And it really messed With my head and my trust. 421 00:17:56,762 --> 00:17:59,808 And when I was in my 20s, 422 00:17:59,832 --> 00:18:02,677 I let my guard down, Fell madly in love, 423 00:18:02,701 --> 00:18:06,414 Planned a huge wedding, And the guy didn't show up. 424 00:18:06,438 --> 00:18:08,883 - wow, that really sucks. - no kidding. 425 00:18:08,907 --> 00:18:10,986 - must have been so humiliating. 426 00:18:11,010 --> 00:18:12,286 - I don't like to dwell on it. 427 00:18:12,310 --> 00:18:13,955 - I mean, just standing up There in your wedding dress 428 00:18:13,979 --> 00:18:15,523 And all those people Staring at you? 429 00:18:15,547 --> 00:18:17,926 - the point is, 430 00:18:17,950 --> 00:18:20,795 I know a little bit about anger. 431 00:18:20,819 --> 00:18:22,630 And it's not healthy To hold on to it 432 00:18:22,654 --> 00:18:24,832 Or to take it out On other people. 433 00:18:24,856 --> 00:18:27,903 Especially someone As sweet as your mum. 434 00:18:27,927 --> 00:18:31,239 It's killing her that she Can't connect with you. 435 00:18:31,263 --> 00:18:33,040 - I gotta tell you, 436 00:18:33,064 --> 00:18:35,677 Whoever that guy Was, it was his loss. 437 00:18:35,701 --> 00:18:37,812 - thank you. 438 00:18:37,836 --> 00:18:42,450 - because you must have Been so hot back then. 439 00:18:42,474 --> 00:18:44,919 - yes. Way back then. 440 00:18:46,111 --> 00:18:49,123 Oh. Here she is Now. Talk to her. 441 00:18:49,147 --> 00:18:52,082 It'll be fine. I promise. 442 00:18:54,219 --> 00:18:56,330 - hi, sweetie. 443 00:18:56,354 --> 00:18:59,968 Listen, um... 444 00:18:59,992 --> 00:19:01,970 I don't know what to say. 445 00:19:01,994 --> 00:19:05,707 - neither do I. 446 00:19:05,731 --> 00:19:08,009 But we can try. 447 00:19:08,033 --> 00:19:10,478 - really? 448 00:19:10,502 --> 00:19:12,013 - yeah. 449 00:19:12,037 --> 00:19:13,448 So where do you wanna start? 450 00:19:13,472 --> 00:19:15,983 Well, the fact that dad's Engaged to a 25-year-old... 451 00:19:17,710 --> 00:19:19,854 - or that I think I Have a crush on joy 452 00:19:19,878 --> 00:19:24,091 And I'm pretty sure She's feeling it too? 453 00:19:24,115 --> 00:19:25,860 - oh, wow. 454 00:19:25,884 --> 00:19:27,127 - all right. 455 00:19:27,151 --> 00:19:29,853 So why did cleveland Drop the "A" from its name? 456 00:19:33,592 --> 00:19:35,870 - well, the masthead For the newspaper? 457 00:19:35,894 --> 00:19:37,038 - mm-hmm? 458 00:19:37,062 --> 00:19:38,206 - they figured out That it was, like, 459 00:19:38,230 --> 00:19:40,063 Not long enough... 460 00:19:42,568 --> 00:19:43,879 - well, we're not bffs yet, 461 00:19:43,903 --> 00:19:47,783 But he did promise to text Me at least once a week. 462 00:19:47,807 --> 00:19:49,818 Thank you, joy. 463 00:19:49,842 --> 00:19:52,987 Oh, hey, how did the Foundation fundraiser go? 464 00:19:53,011 --> 00:19:54,889 - utterly exhausting. 465 00:19:54,913 --> 00:19:57,124 But it'll be worth it just To see the smile on my face 466 00:19:57,148 --> 00:19:59,994 When I win that emmy. 467 00:20:00,018 --> 00:20:02,964 And, of course, announce My miraculous recovery. 468 00:20:02,988 --> 00:20:05,422 - yes. 469 00:20:09,995 --> 00:20:12,040 - you know what? 470 00:20:12,064 --> 00:20:14,376 You know, I feel like I Really did a good thing. 471 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:17,045 You know, which gives One a certain glow, 472 00:20:17,069 --> 00:20:18,279 A little something extra. 473 00:20:18,303 --> 00:20:22,350 I'll say. 474 00:20:22,374 --> 00:20:25,975 - I notice even now a few People looking my way. 475 00:20:27,913 --> 00:20:32,282 In fact, quite a Few people, like... 476 00:20:33,985 --> 00:20:36,953 I'm still wearing The goiter, aren't I? 477 00:20:43,162 --> 00:20:44,872 - oh, I bet it feels good To get rid of that thing, 478 00:20:44,896 --> 00:20:46,041 Doesn't it? 479 00:20:46,065 --> 00:20:47,675 - oh, it really does. 480 00:20:47,699 --> 00:20:50,634 - I was talking to the goiter.